The hardest part of my struggle with postpartum OCD was all the obtrusive thoughts. The best way for me to describe it was when you get a commercial ingle stuck in your head and it just keeps popping up over and over
. I struggled with these because I had never heard anyone talk about having thoughts like these. I was constantly worried about my daughter being harmed by accident, other people, or even myself. I was worried I wanted to harm or would harm her. I gave these thoughts too much power over me.
I recently I stumbled across the #speakthesecret campaign. It was started by the Postpartum Stress Center to help break the stigma of these secret thoughts. Almost every thought I had was one there submitted by another woman. Even though I have been better for a while now, it was such an amazing feeling to see I was not alone.
Be aware that while these can be used to help others understand what you’re feeling, and help you feel not so alone, they could bring up a lot of feelings. If you’re feeling especially vulnerable or questioning whether they would be good for you to look through, I would suggest waiting and talking to your therapist or support system about it first, and if you decide to have someone you trust and can talk to look at these with you.